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Possess Your Possession!

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Forgive me for the title, I couldn’t resist it! The phrase above is more common to religious gatherings, crusades and what have you, but this post has got nothing to do with that.

It has to do with boys.

Or maybe I should say men? Oh well, you get my drift (I hope).

Let me take you back to the beginning. It all began one fine evening (I won’t say when, this is a true story and the parties concerned might catch me!) when I was going through my contacts, and I came across a picture of my friend, standing with this fyyynnee guy! I mean, I’m not one to be blown over by a guy’s cuteness (I’d rather have brains, but that’s a story for another day), but there was something about him that pulled me. So I texted the friend, paid the necessary compliments *covers face* and within minutes, I had enough info on the guy and his contact details (supplied by him o, he was right next to her)! Suffice to say, I have taken it from there, lol.

But it got me thinking about the unspoken rules of relationships, basically, the one which says the boy should make the first move. WHO SAID THAT? I mean, this is not about being a feminist or all that – it’s about something as simple as not letting something good pass you by because you are following a set of ‘rules’.

I mean, girls, how many times have you seen a nice guy whom you could really get along with, pass you by simply because you wouldn’t make a move? I know so many girls pining away with unrequited love like Mariana on the moated grange, because they fear the guy will think they are too forward (I’m NOT gonna say the ‘ch…’ word), or otherwise not demure enough. Well girls, the time has come to possess your possession. Here’s a few tips on how you can do that:

1. Get a mutual friend to introduce you

Unless you are good at striking up a chat with a total stranger, this is a key point to starting a conversation. It remains very difficult to cook up a discussion with someone you just met a few minutes ago, so it’s always best to get a mutual friend to introduce you. Also, this is great for references. Which brings us to my next point.

2. Research (I didn’t say stalk o, research!)

Ask around, and find out what kind of guy he is. You don’t want to walk up to him, only for his girlfriend to come sashaying over wearing a killer dress and heels and looking at you like you are something the cat dragged in (plus if she is from a certain Central Cameroonian tribe, it could get ugly very quickly, lol.). Also, no point trying to know him if it turns out he’s got the kind of character you don’t like. True, you are not marrying him or anything, but just knowing some people is bad enough. A few pointed questions will do the trick. Be careful who you ask though!

ps. a little Google/Facebook/Twitter search never hurt. I looove social media!

3. Don’t come on too strong

By come on too strong, I mean trying too hard. To do everything. Laugh at his (lame) jokes. Smile too wide. Flash cleavage. Fight to sit in the unoccupied front seat of his car (yes, I have seen it happen before!). Nice and easy there, tiger. Rein it in a bit. Be you. Except ‘you’ does the things listed above. In that case, don’t be you.

4. Don’t talk too much/laugh too loud/criticise everything you see.

I met a guy once, who just blew me away with the power of his tongue muscles. I mean, it got to a point where I timed him – he spoke for 7 minutes non-stop, barely pausing to breathe. Sounds short to you? It takes the average person 3 minutes to read a page. Go figure.

My point is, behave yourself. Don’t do a Paris Hilton and be all about the first person singular. Ask some questions (no be police interview o), show some interest in what he has to say. Also  do not criticise except it becomes unbearable. I’ve heard so many guys complain about how a certain girl will always be criticising – it tends to make people think you are stuck-up ( and catty aka b****y).

And yeah, keep the laughter down. In fact, if you laugh like a horse, just smile sef.

5. Don’t be afraid to pay him a compliment

You spend hours in the salon getting your hair done, and then more hours waxing, painting, spandexing, and doing all those other (evil) things girls do to look presentable, then your date just goes “Good evening. Let’s go.” and climbs into the car.

Pause. In fact stop.

Even ‘How you fine today so?’ no dey? I no dey go again na.

Guys love receiving compliments too. Tell him he smells good, you like his shoes, trousers,etc. I didn’t say lie o! Ei bad as ei bad, at least you will like his smile. Else wetin carry you go there?

Anyway, those are my five little helpers to boost your chatting skills. What do you think? Are there any I’ve missed out? Would you walk up to a guy and start a conversation? Let me know what you think via the comment box below.. Don’t forget to take the poll, and ‘Like’ this page.